According to the undeniably accurate resource that is Wikipedia, 54% of all pregnancies are unplanned and unexpected. A whopping 15% of those pregnancies arise despite the “proper” use of preventative measures, such as condoms and other forms of birth control. Condoms have a 95% effective rate against pregnancy; the patch a 98% effective rate. If used together a less than 5% chance of conceiving.Further, there have only been twenty-two accounted cases of quadruplet births in North America. Only four of those were conceived without the use of fertility treatments, a probability of 1 out of 800,000 plus pregnancies. Thus, the probability of conceiving minus the unlikelihood of multiples equals my chances of becoming pregnant with quadruplets with the world’s biggest asshole falling into the 0.000001 percentile, a one in one trillion gazillion chance.
Congratulations! You are now a statistic! You win your very own Wikipedia page as your pregnancy rates second to the Immaculate Conception.
The Virgin Mary